Feelings of Inadequacy

I’ve never been an overly happy person. I have what people call “Chronic Bitch Face.” For those who don’t know, CBF means that when you are happy, or overjoyed, you don’t always express it. Don’t ask me why. That’s just the way it goes.

That being said, 90% of life annoys the fuck out of me. It takes all of my strength in a day, not to rip someone’s arms off and use them to beat them. I’ve learned that it’s just easier to keep your mouth shut, because it’s a great place for your foot. Especially in a fit of rage.

But I’ve gotten used to that way of dealing with things. Mainly because I am convinced that if I actually open up and talk about why I’m so fucking annoyed, I won’t be taken seriously and people will just call me an asshole. So when I know I need to talk to someone, I cry. It’s just easier. I mean…how could I possibly talk about my feelings? 

I should just resign myself to the fact that Jamison just doesn’t understand (or maybe he doesn’t care) why it bothers me when he just says “I have to work on the day you want me to do something with your family. OH WELL. But we can still do something with my family!”

OH WELL OF COURSE WE CAN! THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS ANYWAY! GOD FORBID WE MISS DOING SOMETHING WITH YOUR FAMILY! THAT WOULD JUST BE TRAGIC! AND DON’T WORRY ABOUT ME AND HOW I FEEL. 

I’m too scared to talk to him about this because he probably think I’m attacking his family and he will dump me.